I have had this plan. For four years, I have had "the plan" of how things would go after classes were done, and student teaching was the only remaining part of my education left. Starting about...14 months ago or so, I became completely terrified of "the plan". Do I want this still? Do I like this? Am I too burnt out? My experience with the SoM was interesting, and not as fulfilling as it should have been. And it has created a ton of doubt within me, if you could tell from just about every blog post I have, and that has bread insecurity. Today has been a good day, for no particuar reason, and I'm beginning to feel myself becoming more positive. I think a lot of it has to do with CAMPPPPP COMING UPPPPP!
Every summer I have worked at this camp here at JMU for kids from elementary to high school, focusing on choral music, some dance, and DHALL 3 TIMES A DAY. It has been the bigest refresher for me. And I forget about it as the year goes on, until it comes time to be with my kids again. It's always the same kids, and they are wonderful, wonderful people. I need it. And now, more than ever, I'm realizing that THIS has actually been the closest to student teaching that I have gotten in my 4 years. Even during practicum, even while teaching women's chorus for 2 semesters. The relationships are what will make this worth it to me. Today, I am remembering that a lot more than I was yesterday, a week ago, 14 months ago.
It's a good, good day.
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