Naps.

So.

I've begun some pre-student teaching activities at a high school in Alexandria, and so far, it's been great. I'm getting very, very excited. But that's not the point of this post. I'll write one gushing about my love for teaching later. Because it's gunna happen. Sorry not sorry.

Anyway. I have made plans to meet up with my roommate from all 4 years of college for dinner in old town Alexandria tomorrow, since we both work in the area. And since I have no idea when I'll be done tomorrow, the first 2 thoughts that popped into my head, should I finish up earlier than expected, were 1.) No big deal, I'll just go home and come back, and 2.) No big deal, I'll just find a couch somewhere and nap.

Welp, my friends. This was my first rude awakening to the real world. That bubble we all live in for 4 years during college...well that bubble just got about 50 times bigger.

These two options were always the way to go back at JMU. My house was 5 minutes away, and a person sleeping on the grass of the quad, or a couch in some random building...not so strange. This might not be as well received in the metropolis of Northern Virginia, unless of course I were actually in the city and passed out on one of the great lawns. But even then they'd probably assume I was drunk and/or homeless.

So what will I do? No idea. But I guess I'm about to discover what everyone else in the big bubble does when they have time to kill. I'll get back to you.

A new lease on life...for today anyway...

I have had this plan. For four years, I have had "the plan" of how things would go after classes were done, and student teaching was the only remaining part of my education left. Starting about...14 months ago or so, I became completely terrified of "the plan". Do I want this still? Do I like this? Am I too burnt out? My experience with the SoM was interesting, and not as fulfilling as it should have been. And it has created a ton of doubt within me, if you could tell from just about every blog post I have, and that has bread insecurity. Today has been a good day, for no particuar reason, and I'm beginning to feel myself becoming more positive. I think a lot of it has to do with CAMPPPPP COMING UPPPPP!

Every summer I have worked at this camp here at JMU for kids from elementary to high school, focusing on choral music, some dance, and DHALL 3 TIMES A DAY. It has been the bigest refresher for me. And I forget about it as the year goes on, until it comes time to be with my kids again. It's always the same kids, and they are wonderful, wonderful people. I need it. And now, more than ever, I'm realizing that THIS has actually been the closest to student teaching that I have gotten in my 4 years. Even during practicum, even while teaching women's chorus for 2 semesters. The relationships are what will make this worth it to me. Today, I am remembering that a lot more than I was yesterday, a week ago, 14 months ago.

It's a good, good day.

Time is of the Essence...

So I've pretty much abandoned this blog. Sorry about it. It's been quite a summer so far. Lots and learning and growing, and a pretty useful time of transition into "real life".

I've learned that there are actually people who think more than I do, and it made me see the other side of things. What my overthinking can do to others. Of what I've done in the past, and how it can affect those around me. And how the combination of more than one thinking head can be...not so good. I guess we need to fall victim to our own pitfalls to really learn how to grow out of them.

I'm not one for horoscopes, but mine today said something about taking our own share of blame for things that go wrong in our lives. Horoscopes are generally bogus, but sometimes they have little hidden life lessons. I've been doing that a lot, looking for my "part" in things that go wrong, even in everyday life. Little things, but it all matters. It is so easy to blame everyone else, the other person, whatever, but I am not perfect. I contribute, good and bad.

I've learned that people are good. And that God is so good. And He brings the right people into our lives at the perfect time. He has never failed me on that, even in some of the worst moments, and I have never been so appreciative as I have lately. I think these are actually things I learn over and over again, and I think now I'm actually taking it seriously. I'm not a kid anymore, I'm not a teenager, I'm not even I college kid anymore. I'm a grown-up (sort of...). I'm embracing responsibility in every way that I should.

I've learned that I THRIVE on change. When something causes a sudden change, I have to change right along with it. Almost to a fault. Whether its avoiding the cause of change, a television channel, who I spend my time with, my attachment to certain places. Like my house, for example. My roomies (who I love and miss, so much) are gone. I am no longer attached to this house. I'm packing up gradually on my days off, and it feels awesome. The room is practically done, downstairs pretty much done, etc. It's not the same place to me anymore, so I change. I anticipate the next step. It's something I never really noticed until recently. But I also think my coping strategies have changed, to cope more healthfully. But reading what I just wrote, I wonder if it's actually healthier? Haha...and then I think.

I've learned that I LOVE some of the people I work with. They are so different from what I have been around in the 4 years I have been here, and they are wonderful. Dan and I were talking about it, and it is such a breath of fresh air. And they are making my summer. It has been so fun so far! It almost feels like I'm living in a different place, which coincides with the aforementioned thriving on change, hahaha...

That's all I've got.

Silence is Golden

I've been driving with the windows down, and music off a lot lately. I feel like I constantly have things to think about. The uncertainty of the future, because lets be real, it's pretty friggin' up in the air, makes me think about everything little thing in my life, analyzing solid things, and worrying that they are not. Like, oh I don't know...my major. Yikes.

It's my M.O...worrying. I do it enough for pretty much every person around me. Like that darn hampster wheel on the Duke Lawn. Mark my words, someone will die on that thing. It is the human hampster wheel of DOOM.

I'm working on it...the worrying, that is.

When I'm thinking, I like silence. It helps me process my thoughts, or calms me or something. When I'm stressed and go on my little night time drives, I like it silent. I drive out way passed Harrisonburg, into Dayton-ish area. There are no lights, just hills and cows.

All this culmination stuff makes me so stressed. Mostly because I feel like we have all been so busy, we haven't been able to process and enjoy it. Oh my gosh...typing this makes me stressed. My roommates' slowly emptying rooms puts a pit in my stomach. Emily's dad picked up the island from the kitchen over the weekend, and that one thing being gone makes me so sad. I'm sooo delaying emptying anything from my room. I'm going to do that progressively over the summer. It's been such a good year in this house, so being without them this summer, and forever, will be hard and something to get used to.

Time for work. I love JMU and my roomies and my friends and my family.

AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BIG SISTER, CHRISTINE ANN MORRISON COFFEY!

College, Week #...last.

So here I am. Last week of real college. It feels good. It feels weird. I am refusing to let it feel sad. I am sooo in denial about it being the "end". I have been disconnecting for this entire semester. Keeping myself surrounded by a small, close knit group of people. Avoiding the huge, "i-don't-know-half-these-people" party scene. I think it properly prepared me for this week.

The saddest time thus far was the Overtones final concert. They were my people this year. When the big kids I love the most left, they know who they are, college felt a lot younger. Overtones came in at the perfect time, and were so amazing to me. During stressful rehearsals, snapping at each other, singing in the dark, jumping, warm-ups, recording sessions, Overtones thanksgiving, everything, it was the small family I needed this year. I am so grateful to this amazing group of people, and I am so thankful for the permanent family that I am a part of.

Buy our new CD. It's legit.

Life news: Ordered a BlackBerry online today. Kind of terrified of it. I have always been a regular phone girl. Getting my emails to my phone makes me excited though.

But now, I finish this week, get my Senior Recital over with (Ugh), become addicted to the CrackBerry, work at the restaurant (which is proving to be wonderful and profitable), and enjoy the summer! Lots of exercise, tanning, and working. Sounds good.

SpringFest/Blockparty Dramz...

Every class I had today, professors felt the need to talk about what happened at Blockparty this past weekend. It was really awesome to have them scold us and tell us that our actions embarrassed them.

I personally did not attend. I was at home with Kyle and my family for my mom's birthday. After hearing what friends and professors had to say, I watched some of the videos on You Tube, these are a few things I have to say:

1. Police were amping this up before it even happened. With borderline threatening emails and written letters to residents. You think that WON'T encourage underage drinkers, who live to push the boundaries?
2. JMU has a population of 18,000 students. Of 8000 people there, no way were they all JMU.
3. Did anyone else notice the REDICULOUS mass exodus from campus ALL day Sunday? It was impossible to move anywhere because OTHER school populations were in attendance.
4. JMU ALSO failed to recognize that they planned Choices for the Friday of that weekend, and the following Monday. I wonder how many of the people throwing bottles were high school Choices visitors crashing with some friends for a "wild college weekend".
5. Have you watched some of these videos? I watched people standing around get pummeled to the ground and maced in the eyes. The cops were out for blood.

Ok...I FULLY accept that 8,000 people is absolutely too much, and I agree that some sort of dispersion was necessary. I wonder if it had to get as crazy as it did, but it did. With 8,000 drunk people, it might have even been inevitable. And I also see why JMU students are getting the blame. It is a JMU (student) hosted event. I just wish that all factors could be taken into consideration. I am disappointed that it turned into the event it did, and I am sad that JMU's reputation as a party school is only going to get worse. I know people who even go to Blockparty and DON'T drink...but it doesn't really matter I suppose.

I just don't want my degree to be a mockery.

JOB.

I got a job. WABAM.